10. Ya got any covered bridges (in the Midwest)? [Substitute dolphins on the West Coast, ships in the Northeast, cowboys in the Southwest, seashells in the Southeast.]
(Ans.: Nope, sold the last one to Wal-Mart, just yesterday.)

9.Do you do portraits from photos?
(Ans.: Only if you don't have about 30 hours to pose.)

8.How long have you painted?
(Ans.: I once did one 8 feet long.)

7.Which one is your favourite?
(Ans.: My next one.)

6.What's the smallest size (read cheapest) painting you do?
(Ans.: I once painted the entire Sistine Chapel Ceiling on the head of a pin.)

5.How long does it take you to do a painting?
(Ans.: Depends on what's on TV at the time.)

4.You draw all these yourself?
(Ans.: Yep, can't get no one else to do them for me.)

3.Do you have a card?
(Ans.: Yes, how about you? MasterCard would be fine.)

2.Do you have this in a size larger, maybe in brown instead of blue?
(Ans.: I could special-order you one but it'd cost $100 more and take 60 days.)

1.Could you tell me, which way is to the rest rooms?
(Ans.: I could, but I like watching you prance around waiting for an answer.)

Contributed by Lane, Jim
3 August 1998