If freckles were lovely, and day was night,
And measles were nice and a lie warn't a lie,
     Life would be delight,-
     But things couldn't go right     
     For in such a sad plight
I wouldn't be I.

If earth was heaven, and now was hence,
And past was present, and false was true,
     There might be some sense     
     But I'd be in suspense
     For on such a pretense
You wouldn't be you.

If fear was plucky, and globes were square,
And dirt was cleanly and tears were glee
     Things would seem fair,-
     Yet they'd all despair,
     For if here was there
We wouldn't be we.