Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc (Vols. I-II) Chapter 3 The Paladin Groans and Boasts
by Mark Twain
We were twenty-five strong, and well equipped. We rode in
double file, Joan and her brothers in the center of the column, with
Jean de Metz at the head of it and the Sieur Bertrand at its extreme
rear. In two or three hours we should be in the enemy's country,
and then none would venture to desert. By and by we began to hear
groans and sobs and execrations from different points along the
line, and upon inquiry found that six of our men were peasants
who had never ridden a horse before, and were finding it very
difficult to stay in their saddles, and moreover were now beginning
to suffer considerable bodily torture. They had been seized by the
governor at the last moment and pressed into the service to make
up the tale, and he had placed a veteran alongside of each with
orders to help him stick to the saddle, and kill him if he tried to
desert.
These poor devils had kept quiet as long as they could, but their
physical miseries were become so sharp by this time that they were
obliged to give them vent. But we were within the enemy's country
now, so there was no help for them, they must continue the march,
though Joan said that if they chose to take the risk they might
depart. They preferred to stay with us. We modified our pace now,
and moved cautiously, and the new men were warned to keep their
sorrows to themselves and not get the command into danger with
their curses and lamentations.
Toward dawn we rode deep into a forest, and soon all but the
sentries were sound asleep in spite of the cold ground and the
frosty air.
I woke at noon out of such a solid and stupefying sleep that at first
my wits were all astray, and I did not know where I was nor what
had been happening. Then my senses cleared, and I remembered.
As I lay there thinking over the strange events of the past month or
two the thought came into my mind, greatly surprising me, that
one of Joan's prophecies had failed; for where were Noël and the
Paladin, who were to join us at the eleventh hour? By this time,
you see, I had gotten used to expecting everything Joan said to
come true. So, being disturbed and troubled by these thoughts, I
opened my eyes. Well, there stood the Paladin leaning against a
tree and looking down on me! How often that happens; you think
of a person, or speak of a person, and there he stands before you,
and you not dreaming he is near. It looks as if his being near is
really the thing that makes you think of him, and not just an
accident, as people imagine. Well, be that as it may, there was the
Paladin, anyway, looking down in my face and waiting for me to
wake. I was ever so glad to see him, and jumped up and shook him
by the hand, and led him a little way from the camp--he limping
like a cripple--and told him to sit down, and said:
"Now, where have you dropped down from? And how did you
happen to light in this place? And what do the soldier-clothes
mean? Tell me all about it."
He answered:
"I marched with you last night."
"No!" (To myself I said, "The prophecy has not all failed--half of it
has come true.")
"Yes, I did. I hurried up from Domremy to join, and was within a
half a minute of being too late. In fact, I was too late, but I begged
so hard that the governor was touched by my brave devotion to my
country's cause--those are the words he used--and so he yielded,
and allowed me to come."
I thought to myself, this is a lie, he is one of those six the governor
recruited by force at the last moment; I know it, for Joan's
prophecy said he would join at the eleventh hour, but not by his
own desire. Then I said aloud:
"I am glad you came; it is a noble cause, and one should not sit at
home in times like these."
"Sit at home! I could no more do it than the thunderstone could
stay hid in the clouds when the storm calls it."
"That is the right talk. It sounds like you."
That pleased him.
"I'm glad you know me. Some don't. But they will, presently. They
will know me well enough before I get done with this war."
"That is what I think. I believe that wherever danger confronts you
you will make yourself conspicuous."
He was charmed with this speech, and it swelled him up like a
bladder. He said:
"If I know myself--and I think I do--my performances in this
campaign will give you occasion more than once to remember
those words."
"I were a fool to doubt it. That I know."
"I shall not be at my best, being but a common soldier; still, the
country will hear of me. If I were where I belong; if I were in the
place of La Hire, or Saintrailles, or the Bastard of Orleans--well, I
say nothing. I am not of the talking kind, like Noël Rainguesson
and his sort, I thank God. But it will be something, I take it--a
novelty in this world, I should say--to raise the fame of a private
soldier above theirs, and extinguish the glory of their names with
its shadow."
"Why, look here, my friend," I said, "do you know that you have
hit out a most remarkable idea there? Do you realize the gigantic
proportions of it? For look you; to be a general of vast renown,
what is that? Nothing--history is clogged and confused with them;
one cannot keep their names in his memory, there are so many.
But a common soldier of supreme renown--why, he would stand
alone! He would the be one moon in a firmament of mustard-seed
stars; his name would outlast the human race! My friend, who gave
you that idea?"
He was ready to burst with happiness, but he suppressed betrayal
of it as well as he could. He simply waved the compliment aside
with his hand and said, with complacency:
"It is nothing. I have them often--ideas like that--and even greater
ones. I do not consider this one much."
"You astonish me; you do, indeed. So it is really your own?"
"Quite. And there is plenty more where it came from"--tapping his
head with his finger, and taking occasion at the same time to cant
his morion over his right ear, which gave him a very self-satisfied
air--"I do not need to borrow my ideas, like Noël Rainguesson."
"Speaking of Noël, when did you see him last?"
"Half an hour ago. He is sleeping yonder like a corpse. Rode with
us last night."
I felt a great upleap in my heart, and said to myself, now I am at
rest and glad; I will never doubt her prophecies again. Then I said
aloud:
"It gives me joy. It makes me proud of our village. There is not
keeping our lion-hearts at home in these great times, I see that."
"Lion-heart! Who--that baby? Why, he begged like a dog to be let
off. Cried, and said he wanted to go to his mother. Him a
lion-heart!--that tumble-bug!"
"Dear me, why I supposed he volunteered, of course. Didn't he?"
"Oh, yes, he volunteered the way people do to the headsman. Why,
when he found I was coming up from Domremy to volunteer, he
asked me to let him come along in my protection, and see the
crowds and the excitement. Well, we arrived and saw the torches
filing out at the Castle, and ran there, and the governor had him
seized, along with four more, and he begged to be let off, and I
begged for his place, and atg last the governor allowed me to join,
but wouldn't let Noël off, because he was disgusted with him, he
was such a cry-baby. Yes, and much good he'll do the King's
service; he'll eat for six and run for sixteen. I hate a pygmy with
half a heart and nine stomachs!"
"Why, this is very surprising news to me, and I am sorry and
disappointed to hear it. I thought he was a very manly fellow."
The Paladin gave me an outraged look, and said:
"I don't see how you can talk like that, I'm sure I don't. I don't see
how you could have got such a notion. I don't dislike him, and I'm
not saying these things out of prejudice, for I don't allow myself to
have prejudices against people. I like him, and have always
comraded with him from the cradle, but he must allow me to speak
my mind about his faults, and I am willing he shall speak his about
mine, if I have any. And, true enough, maybe I have; but I reckon
they'll bear inspection--I have that idea, anyway. A manly fellow!
You should have heard him whine and wail and swear, last night,
because the saddle hurt him. Why didn't the saddle hurt me?
Pooh--I was as much at home in it as if I had been born there. And
yet it was the first time I was ever on a horse. All those old soldiers
admired my riding; they said they had never seen anything like it.
But him--why, they had to hold him on, all the time."
An odor as of breakfast came stealing through the wood; the
Paladin unconsciously inflated his nostrils in lustful response, and
got up and limped painfully away, saying he must go and look to
his horse.
At bottom he was all right and a good-hearted giant, without any
harm in him, for it is no harm to bark, if one stops there and does
not bite, and it is no harm to be an ass, if one is content to bray and
not kick. If this vast structure of brawn and muscle and vanity and
foolishness seemed to have a libelous tongue, what of it? There
was no malice behind it; and besides, the defect was not of his
own creation; it was the work of Noël Rainguesson, who had
nurtured it, fostered it, built it up and perfected it, for the
entertainment he got out of it. His careless light heart had to have
somebody to nag and chaff and make fun of, the Paladin had only
needed development in order to meet its requirements,
consequently the development was taken in hand and diligently
attended to and looked after, gnat-and-bull fashion, for years, to
the neglect and damage of far more important concerns. The result
was an unqualified success. Noël prized the society of the Paladin
above everybody else's; the Paladin preferred anybody's to Noël's.
The big fellow was often seen with the little fellow, but it was for
the same reason that the bull is often seen with the gnat.
With the first opportunity, I had a talk with Noël. I welcomed him
to our expedition, and said:
"It was fine and brave of you to volunteer, Noël."
His eye twinkled, and he answered:
"Yes, it was rather fine, I think. Still, the credit doesn't all belong
to me; I had help."
"Who helped you?"
"The governor."
"How?"
"Well, I'll tell you the whole thing. I came up from Domremy to
see the crowds and the general show, for I hadn't ever had any
experience of such things, of course, and this was a great
opportunity; but I hadn't any mind to volunteer. I overtook the
Paladin on the road and let him have my company the rest of the
way, although he did not want it and said so; and while we were
gawking and blinking in the glare of the governor's torches they
seized us and four more and added us to the escort, and that is
really how I came to volunteer. But, after all, I wasn't sorry,
remembering how dull life would have been in the village without
the Paladin."
"How did he feel about it? Was he satisfied?"
"I think he was glad."
"Why?"
"Because he said he wasn't. He was taken by surprise, you see, and
it is not likely that he could tell the truth without preparation. Not
that he would have prepared, if he had had the chance, for I do not
think he would. I am not charging him with that. In the same space
of time that he could prepare to speak the truth, he could also
prepare to lie; besides, his judgment would be cool then, and
would warn him against fooling with new methods in an
emergency. No, I am sure he was glad, because he said he wasn't."
"Do you think he was very glad?"
"Yes, I know he was. He begged like a slave, and bawled for his
mother. He said his health was delicate, and he didn't know how to
ride a horse, and he knew he couldn't outlive the first march. But
really he wasn't looking as delicate as he was feeling. There was a
cask of wine there, a proper lift for four men. The governor's
temper got afire, and he delivered an oath at him that knocked up
the dust where it struck the ground, and told him to shoulder that
cask or he would carve him to cutlets and send him home in a
basket. The Paladin did it, and that secured his promotion to a
privacy in the escort without any further debate."
"Yes, you seem to make it quite plain that he was glad to join--that
is, if your premises are right that you start from. How did he stand
the march last night?"
"About as I did. If he made the more noise, it was the privilege of
his bulk. We stayed in our saddles because we had help. We are
equally lame to-day, and if he likes to sit down, let him; I prefer to
stand."